and now the promised post that's going to be really long! i mean i can't exactly help it when there's really loads for me to talk about can i! (and this always happens when i am only committed enough to post once a week)

but i'm dividing it up into portions just in case you faint before finishing the whole thing. if you're daring enough though, try reading it from start to end!

oh, and just a gentle reminder to self: the archives are at the bottom of the page. (hey, that's one of the things i like about this blogskin but i think i'll forget if i didn't put it down somewhere. inspiration from the nice LJs)

navigations! (in this post itself, no less)

-academics! -cca! -leadership! -miscellaneous!

[-academics!]

actually this isn't strictly what you can call "academic", but who cares! it's the great big "open house" time of the year, and it's also the time when you see students/teachers/principals from the various schools going around to spread propaganda and addle students' brains (hey that was what i wrote in the script for the presentation and they laughed! now say i'm funny!) invite primary school students to join their schools. and i must say that i'm one of the lucky ones to return to rgp to well, yeah publicize (yes, i really am very lucky because my results don't bring me even close to the top, i don't think i even know any of my juniors in rgp, and i haven't contributed much to rgs in any way to become her ambassador). but the arranging for an appointment thing was kind of irritating because it took eons to get to the principal and even when we got to the principal, we were actually supposed to talk to the p6 level head or something. so in the end we took like what, one whole week to even confirm the day when we're going back to rgp. but i guess the general office people had to be that extra careful, what with all the prank calls around nowadays (still, i wish it wouldn't take that long for an ex-student to speak to teachers they miss)

so we went back and talked and yeah you get the point. but it struck me that i really missed rgp, so much so that i spent like 10 minutes sitting at the elevated area before the parade ground, just sitting there and looking at everything around me and just reminscing. not that rgs is a bad school or anything, but it's just that i miss that carefree thing that primary school has but secondary school doesn't. that feeling that you can just basically do whatever you want, as if you had all the time in the world.

or maybe it's just because i'm no longer in that school so i feel as if i can do whatever i want.

hmm. like stacey said, if only we could combine the brains of rgs (as in the teachers, the friends and so on) with the heart of rgp. or maybe we should rephrase that as: the hardware of rgs, the software of rgp. never mind you know what i mean.

[and why, oh why, ms phua and laoshi, did the two of you have to not be at school that day!]

now move it, won't you!

[-cca!]

and talking about open house, i was at the open house (but so was almost half of the entire school population). all the performing arts groups had to put up some sort of performance so rgschoir decided to sing bonny bobby shafto (which is bouncing-ly nice), shanghaitan and at the very last minute, ave maria (divine!). and because frances couldn't make it on saturday, i (yes i, michelle, the person who can't even sightread a score properly, let alone give a decent accompaniment) had to play the accompaniment for bonny bobby shafto. and guess what, the accompaniment went totally haywire. the starting was alright, but when it came to the part with the flourish of arpeggios and octave stretches, i came in at the wrong time. and it was maddeningly embarrasing because i tried to fit in like two more times, but failed rather miserably.

maybe i was kind of stupid, unbottling all my emotions in front of everybody and letting those tears flow, as if i was the one to be consoled and not the other way round. it's not just that i cared a lot for myself and whatever i presented to the public as a pianist, accompanying or not, it's just that it was as if i had let the whole choir down. i mean, honestly, it's hard for you not to get distracted when the pianist makes a complete fool of herself and you have to sing completely without accompaniment for some time, while hoping that the pianist quickly gets a grip on herself and returns to plonk in some chords. only getting the score on tuesday was not exactly an excuse; going on stage is equivalent to having faith in yourself and knowing that you can give a good performance. well, it all seemed okay before that but i don't know what exactly happened then. (and again, in a way i was tarnishing rgs' reputation, but hopefully it wasn't that serious)

probably it was because the sec4s looked really disgruntled and everything. but quan and suet said it wasn't our fault and we tried our best; they gave the choir a ticking-off for attitude. fine, i'm not very observant and i don't really know what went on before and during the performance (i mean, your mind just basically goes blank), but i just hope that what quan and suet said was really true. as in, not just saying that to cover up for my mistakes and to make me feel less bad about them, because that would really be extremely unfair to everyone else.

not that i doubt their words. i'm worrying just because i don't want to end up having a whole group of people hating me just because i did something wrong and didn't exactly face up to its consequences. the people in choir are all really very nice people, i stress, very nice people, and i'ld really hate it if i'ld ever end up on the wrong side of them.

but i must say i really admire the way the sec4s can just like put things aside once they're over. i mean they were angry only at lunch but right during the afternoon they were back to their normal selves again. the way they can detach themselves from the stuff that has been happening so easily is really cool (and is one thing i seriously need to master).

(you know, if i looked on the bright side of life, one good thing about this is that i actually got hugs from suet and quan? XD but nah, i'll immediately say that it wasn't a pleasant experience at all in case you think i'm a sucker for pain or something)

now move it, won't you!

[-leadership!]

to put it very simplistically (and perhaps a bit too direct but i'm too lazy to try and shroud it with all those flowery wrappings and everything), i quote shzehui: i'm an sl. i don't know what to say because it's kind of cool when you first come to think of it but after that you wonder if you can actually shoulder all the responsibilities (and above all, not become a booking machine that you had initially pledged that you'ld never become) and hope that you will still fit in and be close to everybody. it's really kind of scary to think of the fact that one day you may have to go up to a friend or a senior and book her or something. i don't see myself doing that; i don't even think i have the courage to do that. and please, one-eleven, i beg you, switch off the lights and fans before you go out of class so that you won't force shzehui/dengqing/stacey/me into giving you a class booking. please?

and of course, the head prefect election results are out and we also know who'll be the chair of psb and everything! yes xiner is head prefect! not that it concerns me in any serious manner but it's just an important event isn't it!

now move it, won't you!

[-miscellaneous!]

dipAB is this friday and i'm starting to feel a little tingly in the stomach. i hope i do well. (and i'm dreaming of the day when i can post on this blog, going "byebye dipAB, hello LR!") and today we were practising at the exam venue and like we sort of overshot for half an hour (we actually didn't book the room and well, didn't pay 25 dollars for the time we used but shushhh). i don't know why, but i just felt as if i could go on playing the pieces forever and ever. i wonder if i've already started to feel a lot more for music than merely just treating it as an avenue for recognition and more recognition. sometimes music just really touches your heart, and melts it, but i can't exactly see myself devoting my entire life to music. i mean i really love music, but i still think i can go further with my studies and everything. yes i know i'm thinking in a really traditional (and perhaps old-fashioned) way but yeah that's my opinion.

[if only we could like do both academic studies and music at university, and be a part-time pianist or something. but being a pianist requires a lot of commitment and passion, and you don't get the commitment by devoting yourself to two things at one time. passion may be a yes, but what about commitment?]

whoa, does anyone even read this much?

or zongmin, in english, chinese or - okay, not really otherwise.

rafflesian
111 (06) | 213 (07) | 414 (09)
tripscience/lit♥ + mep, crab! (:
RGSChoir♥: sop2/alto1 + appassionata!
RGSPB-fior, batch of 'o9! (:
waddlian :D
CAPper'o7!
OBS}hillary!♥
team rgs/nsc08! (:
RGS-ICYL08: FIXcomm!♥
wycf08, satb choir! :D
ISYF@SG09!♥

lives, writes, sings, plays the piano, and attempts to sound intellectual at times (conclusion: fails rather miserably).

loves music (almost strictly classical, hurhur & inclusive of faziolis!), literature (& also the sciences - no they are not in conflict), making hopelessly lame puns, laughter, white/milk chocolate, cheesecake, the world & the people in it. list not exhaustive, by the way.

wants the world to be filled with peace, joy and love, and also wants (perhaps a little more selfishly) to be happy, plus lead a life of purpose. that would be more than enough. (:

oh, and she likes embarking on her own 'free hugs!' campaigns after exams and the like; not really sure why. D: (at any rate, you can tell that she's random enough.)

amanda g.
amanda y.
baozhing
brenda l.
brenda s.
chanel
charmaine
chloe
darrell
deborah l.
deborah z.
elizabeth
fangying
fiona
frances
giovanni
grace k.
grace z.
iris
jacqueline
jane
jiaxuan
jingjie
jovina
kezia
leevoon
lisa
lynette
madeline
may
mengshi
michelle
natalie
nikhita
peiying
priscilla
samantha
sarah
seetteng
shanjee
shiaoyen
shermaine
shze hui
siyi
sophia
stacey
stefanie
suetping
tienli
vanessa
wanhui
wanjiun
weite
xinyuan
yeephon
yinleng
yujia
zeslene

111'06
213'07
rgs choir
thefugacious@wordpress!

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very plain, she knows; but this is probably herself in its entirety - nothing more than a compilation of perhaps-boring-to-you little things (and the occasional Important Event), but also nothing less than all the brilliant memories which constitutes her life, and perhaps yours.

also interpreted as an inability to express with other things but words (nothing more, nothing less!), although even words sometimes won't do enough. but she does like orange.

v2.0 (230208): maybe solid grey isn't that fantastic after all. but wordy is good, all the same. she's weird, she knows.

ver. i-pretend-that-it-is-3.0-when-i-know-it-is-not (070608): i am boring, take that. (:

v4.0 (200908): got bored, so cut down on the quasi-fanciful stuff even more. perfectly plain now, though somehow the background still doesn't work on safari / google chrome. ):